For Siblings

Losing a sibling is complicated for lots of reasons. Seeing your parents suffer and know you are not able to help them can be heart-breaking. At the same time, the loss of attention from your parents, the loss of joy and laughter in your life and the physical absence of your sibling makes it hard to care for yourself. Guilt, sadness and regret may all be feelings that add to your grief.

The focus being significantly on the parents can be frustrating and make you feel alone. Your family feels ‘broken’ with your sibling missing so there seems a lot that needs fixing. Coming to terms with knowing it can’t be fixed also makes you feel pushed into a corner and helpless. Siblings are often called the ‘forgotten mourners'. But you are not alone. We are all here to support you. Your feelings are real and just as important.

You may even feel a pressure to ‘move-on’ quickly, so you are not the ‘down- buzz’ in your group. Hiding your feelings is not good for you in the long-term. Your grief is valid and is not something that will just go away. So, please try and find someone to connect and talk to.

Just know you don’t have to work through this by yourself. It will feel like you are all alone as you probably don’t have any friends that have been through a similar experience. But you are not, there are plenty of us that have shared a similar loss of a sibling or two.

From the words of a sibling herself, "through grief, pain, and trauma, you grow. You develop a resilience that prepares you for anything - though some might view it as a jadedness - eventually you develop a new appreciation for life, and instead of living for your loved one, trying to fulfil their dreams to honour them, you realize how short and unstable life is and learn to live for yourself with a new, deeper understanding of how truly important it is to seek out and embrace what makes you happy. It takes a long time and a lot of fear, but it happens." – Dani, Michael's sister (for the full story click here).